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Today was your birthday. You should’ve turned 67. We should’ve laughed with you at dinner and while you let the boys lick the icing off your candles. There should’ve been lots of hugs and lots of pictures. The boys should’ve gifted you some silly gifts that they picked out themselves and you would’ve cherished.

There are so many should haves, but they didn’t happen.

Instead, we laid a blanket in front of your headstone and squeaked out a tearful rendition of “Happy Birthday”. The boys blew out the candle for you and shared a few memories of you. We all missed you. We miss you every day, but today was particularly hard.

I hope you smiled when the boys were sharing their memories today. Maybe you even got a kick out of how much I cried today. You probably saw it as payback for all the times I gave you gifts that made you cry over the years.

I looked at lots of pictures today. I cried while looking at them, especially ones from your birthday last year. How much has changed in one year.

I am so grateful for the memories we have of you, especially on the difficult days. I am grateful that my hobby (now career) is one that helped me preserve those memories. I am sad, really sad, but I am still grateful, even on the difficult days.

I love getting to share pictures and videos of you with the boys. I’m grateful that, while most of my tears are sad, a few, just a few, are happy. When I see images of you laughing, I can still hear it. You were always so silly, especially with the boys, and being reminded of some of your shenanigans can make me laugh through my tears.

We missed you today. Even more than yesterday. We missed you, but you’re always with us. So when I get really sad, I look at your pictures and imagine how your smile must look as you look down on us from Heaven.

Today was a difficult day, but I see your smile and it makes me smile. Even through my tears.

This past year was hard.

I know many of you can relate. Anyone who has cared for a loved one with a terminal illness will understand the difficulties we faced since learning my mother-in-law had ALS. It was already quite advanced, she was misdiagnosed for many years, and she didn’t have much time left. We knew how this was going to end.

We knew, but we weren’t prepared.

Even when you know it’s going to happen, you’re never really ready for it. Somehow, it’s still a shock. You can be grateful they aren’t suffering anymore. You can know they are in a better place. You can even feel blessed to have had the extra time you had, but it’s still a devastating blow to lose someone you love so much.

I was incredibly blessed! My children had the most amazing grandmother. In fact, when I was teaching, she was really their second mother. She woke them every morning, got them off the bus every afternoon, and made them dinner most nights while I was still at work. And when the time came where she couldn’t do it anymore and my father-in-law needed to take care of her full time, I was able to be here. When teaching couldn’t provide the flexible schedule I needed, I was fortunate enough to have another skill to turn to as a career. A skill that allowed me to work for myself and have the flexibility to put my family first.

So when my father-in-law needed help to care for her, I was able to help. When my children had questions, I was there to answer them. When the final weeks arrived, I was able to be here with my family. There really is no greater blessing!

And though the past few weeks have been terribly difficult, there is a silver lining.

I have thousands (literally thousands) of pictures of my mother-in-law! My children will always be able to look at images of her to remember what her eyes look liked when she laughed. They can see how she squinched up her face when she was being silly. They can look at pictures where she is embracing them and remember how they always felt so safe and loved in her arms!

“When you’re shivering with loss, let love keep you warm with memories.”  ~Terri Guillemets

Full disclosure: I didn’t want to leave teaching. I loved teaching and I always felt so proud to be a teacher. I felt like I was doing something that mattered. I didn’t recognize the same value in my new career.

Until now.

This experience has had a very unanticipated side effect. It has renewed my sense of purpose and deepened my passion for photography. I can honestly say that I am more driven than ever to capture memories and document life for others. I believe this pursuit is just as important as teaching.

Now, the purpose of a business blog is to show you what I can do for you and to get you to hire me, but I’m not so great at that part yet and I honestly think this is so much bigger than that. Of course you can hire me! And I would be honored to help your family create and document amazing memories that you can cherish forever! But right now, I just want you to understand how important it is. So whether you hire me, or another photographer, or feel capable of doing it yourself; the point is to do it and do it now!

Capture these memories; preserve everyday moments. Your children will never be as little as they are today, you will never be as young as you are today, and tomorrow will get here sooner than you expect.

“I took one more glance over my past life, then turned to the future. I was eager to embrace the world.”

Wild Swans, Jung Chang

The end of my first chapter has arrived and chapter two has begun.

I walked away from my classroom yesterday and stepped into my role as a business owner and full-time photographer. I never thought my hobby and career would switch places, but I knew a whole lot before life taught me that I actually knew very little.

So here we are. The beginning of something new. A wonderful opportunity to provide more than just a salary, but also stability in a time of chaos and love in a time of sorrow. I am so grateful for this ability; even as my family and I struggle with the reality of what we face.

Life has provided me with a somber reminder of how fleeting it is. Because of this, I traded my passion for preparing the leaders of tomorrow for my passion to preserve our past. Each day I am considering and exploring new ways to freeze precious moments and respect the present. It is, after all, a gift!

So I’m here! I’m preserving as much of my family’s present as I can and I’m ready to help you cherish and preserve your family’s memories as well.

Here’s hoping you are as blessed as I have been! xo

For those of you who read my first post, you have already heard a bit about why photography is so important to me. In a nutshell, I am most grateful for the ability to create and record precious memories for my children and family members.

I have made photobooks and slideshows for over a decade and always love seeing the look on people’s faces as they relive some favorite memories. It has become a passion to develop and preserve memories for others. This includes you and this is how my “why” becomes your “what.”

What do you wish to hold on to? What is the essence of your family? What is the relationship like between you and your spouse or between your children and their grandparents? How have you preserved these memories for your children? For their children?

I love to design and develop experiences. I want you to walk away with beautiful images that are tied to equally beautiful memories. When you see the picture of grandpa laughing, I want your children to remember what it sounds like. I want to capture images that represent the feeling your children have when they give you the biggest squeeze they can, so when they see it, they feel it! It’s what I want for my children and it’s what I want for yours as well. If it’s what you want, let me help you kale it happen.

“The best thing about memories is making them.”

Song: “Tenerife Sea” is a song by English singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran. It was co- written by Snow Patrol member Johnny McDaid and Foy Vance, and features production from Rick Rubin. The song was released on 20 June 2014 as part of his second studio album, x.